Freeing the chameleon

Early in my career, I became really good at being a chameleon. In law enforcement, I was seen as the posh boy with the degree – so I shaved my head and got some tattoos. Later in consulting, I was the northern bloke who hadn't been to Oxford, so I thought about joining a ‘private members club’. My approach was ‘become what you think you need to be, in order to succeed.’ At least it was, before I realised there was this thing called ‘the code.’

From ‘fitting in’ to finding the right fit

I had a comfortable upbringing in the north of England, but have strong working-class roots. I was the first in my immediate family to get A-levels and go to university, breaking the traditional mould of previous generations. Careerwise, I had a brush with the military, a period in law enforcement and cyber intelligence and finally I joined the world of consultancy – with a stint in the Big Four and smaller boutique firms, eventually finding my current position at Baringa. With such broad career exposure, it’s little wonder I became an expert at changing who I was to fit in.

Then two years before joining Baringa, I was diagnosed with ADHD. In fact, it was the unconscious masking of certain ADHD behaviours – which often left me exhausted by five o'clock – that prompted me to seek a diagnosis. And with it, a dawning realisation that this ‘code’ existed. After that, I knew how important an inclusive culture was for me in my next role. During the interview process at Baringa, I led with my recent ADHD diagnosis, knowing if it didn’t resonate and I couldn't be authentic, then this wasn’t the place for me.

A fine balance

Thankfully, Baringa is the most inclusive place I've ever worked. People are experts at what they do, but they’ve got genuine empathy and high EQs. To a certain extent, I’ve always suffered from imposter syndrome, although I think I’m pretty close now to being my authentic self at work. As a result, I’m happier, more relaxed and can put my full energy and mental resource into work, not to mention I’m a lot less knackered at 5pm each day!

However, I will consciously temper my behaviour to a situation. For example, my unmedicated, ADHD-self has, and would, make edgy or ill-judged comments – because that kind of risk-taking behaviour and aspect of ADHD is part of my true self. So, I work very hard not to do that because it’s inappropriate and makes other people feel uncomfortable.

Plus, you must balance your personal needs with being part of a business. It’s not just about any one individual, we’re all part of this bigger organism working towards a collective mission. When working with a client whose culture is different from ours, we need to balance complying with their code to be successful versus helping them to challenge it. Tweaking your style is one thing though, but masking and not being your true self, that’s when the problems start.

Consistency even under pressure

Baringa is doing so much to rewrite the code, but there's always more to do. Within the neurodiversity network, we recognise that senior role modelling and increased senior authenticity is crucial. As a partner, I see it as my duty to be a role model, to enable people to see the sort of leaders they can aspire to be.

Consulting is a difficult business. On the face of it, it's much easier to deliver projects with a team of people who work all hours, who don't have children or family commitments, are neurotypical, and don't have adjustments or preferences. But the quality you’re getting, and the diversity of thought isn't there. So even when the pressure is on, we need to be mindful of continuing to create these positive work environments. To be consistent in our approach, ensuring inclusivity in every project – in both the good and the more challenging times.